Wondering what women want? Learn more about the popular character traits and what not to do.

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Perhaps you have already asked yourself what women really want. Many men find it difficult to answer, after all, there are very different ideas about what women like in men. We clarify which qualities in men are most popular with women and what is really important to them in a relationship. This will make it easy for you to see what your chances are with the woman of your choice.

The 10 most in-demand qualities women really want

Even if women, like men, often tick differently, there are clear tendencies towards the qualities that women find particularly important in men. In our ElitePartner study1 we asked single women about exactly these and found out ten most important characteristics of a man:

  1. Warmheartedness: For 95 percent of women, warmheartedness comes first. Those who are warm-hearted behave in a sensitive and benevolent manner towards their fellow human beings – and not in an artificial way, but from the heart. Warm-heartedness is therefore often associated with character traits such as empathy and social skills. As a warm-hearted man, a woman around you feels understood, accepted and loved – an excellent basis for a happy partnership.
  2. Loyalty: Directly followed is Loyalty is the second most popular characteristic. For a long-term relationship, women want their partner to feel like they are the one – that’s what makes love special.
  3. Humor: Being able to laugh together and with the other person For 94 percent of women, having fun is one of the qualities that make a happy partnership. Humor connects both on dates and in relationships and also eases minor conflict situations in everyday life.
  4. Intelligence: Intelligence is not only about the school leaving certificate, but also about the level of the partner. A quick wit, for example, or the ability to solve problems with clever ideas are what women find attractive and are part of what women really want.
  5. Openness and communication: Many men feel that way quickly uncomfortable when it comes to talking about the relationship or feelings – but one of the qualities that women really want is open communication about their own needs and desires in the partnership. So if you manage to deal openly with your feelings in addition to talking about the experiences of the day, a woman will notice this in an extremely positive way.
  6. Emotionality and tenderness: Tenderness expresses itself above all else in small details – it can be a gentle touch, a tender kiss or a hug while watching a film together. The A woman’s body language tells you what she likes. Especially at the beginning of a relationship, we usually exchange such small gestures as if of our own accord, which is why it is important to give them space over the course of the partnership. This is how you show a woman how close and connected you feel to her.
  7. Education: In addition to intelligence, it is important to women that their partner’s level of education does not differ too much from their own. Here, too, it is not specifically about the school leaving certificate, but rather about factors such as willingness to learn, motivation and personal interests that the other person is pursuing. If these relate to similar goals – such as enjoying conversations about social issues or a preference for similar reading material – this indicates a good common level for many women.
  8. Caring : Most women these days are in the middle of life and can take care of themselves. Nevertheless, it feels good to be taken care of sometimes – for example after a stressful day at work or when you have a stubborn cold. These can be small gestures like making tea or a short neck massage. Or you sit down with her on the sofa and just have an open ear.
  9. Self-confidence: 85 percent of women want a partner in a relationship who is self-confident. This can mean, for example, that you can say “no” in an uncomfortable situation and show yourself to be assertive, take your life into your own hands and make independent decisions. The important thing here is that you remain authentic. A woman notices when the self-confident behavior is just for show.
  10. Independence and autonomy: In line with 9th place, independence and autonomy are also among the coveted qualities that Make women happy. After all, she wants to be able to rely on not suddenly having to assume the role of mother in a partnership, but to live with a man on an equal footing. A partnership therefore depends on a balanced relationship between one’s own independence and allowing oneself to be close.
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Women don’t want that in a relationship: 5 topics that disturb love

In addition to what women want in a man, there are of course aspects that have a negative impact on a relationship. To conquer a woman, you should also know about her. We have put together the five most important no-gos for you.

1. Men who don’t appreciate their partner

Respecting and appreciating each other is clearly part of what women really want. When she gets involved in a relationship, she wants to be treated as equals and with love. A lack of appreciation on your part can be expressed in the way you articulate your partner, in ignoring her needs, or in the fact that you always let your partner do tedious tasks on her own. You should definitely avoid such behavior in a partnership.

2. Emotionally cold men who don’t talk about their feelings

It’s not for nothing that communication is the fifth most important characteristic for women – because in a relationship being cold and not talking about one’s own feelings is a no-go for many women. By listening carefully to your partner, you will be much better able to understand women – then, in the second step, honestly communicate your own feelings, you create them a deep basis with each other. Even if it may seem difficult to you at the beginning or is not in your nature to openly discuss emotional topics, it will be worth jumping over your own shadow.

3. Career men for whom the job always comes first

Independence and autonomy with all due respect – your career shouldn’t be more important to you than the woman at your side. A man’s career status was one of the least sought-after qualities in our ElitePartner study for a reason. Men who only define themselves through their job, accumulate overtime and put their partner on the back burner tend to be unpopular with women.

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4. A clichéd distribution of roles in the partnership

The traditional image that the woman stays at home and the man takes on the role of breadwinner is long gone. Women in Germany today see themselves as multi-role talents and not only take on the role of caring mother and housewife, but also strive for professional success and financial independence2. At the same time, they expect their partner to take on all of these roles as well. In general, women nowadays stand on their own two feet just like men, so that equality and a fair distribution of the tasks involved are also important for them in the relationship – and this does not only apply to Relationships with Tough Alpha Females.

5. Men who neglect their appearance

What women want when they want a man are certain character traits and inner values. Nevertheless, a well-groomed appearance also plays a role. To dress well for a first date and to be well-groomed, but after the first months of the relationship only walk around at home in a ragged look? This is a real turn off for many women. It doesn’t always have to be a perfectly trimmed beard or an outfit for going out – but you should also value a fresh scent and clean clothes in your partnership.

Conclusion: What do women really want in a relationship? With these qualities you meet their expectations

“What do women really want?” What sounds like a difficult question is actually not that difficult to answer. How women fall in love depends on a number of qualities that they desire in a fulfilling relationship – and many of these traits should also play a role for you as a man in a relationship. This includes, for example, being able to laugh together, being true to oneself, treating the other person with sensitivity and yet remaining self-confident and to a good extent independent. We have summarized the most important tips on what women really want for you. If you can answer “yes” to most of the questions, you are well on your way to a new relationship.

Checklist of what women want:

  • Are you able to speak openly about your feelings and needs?
  • Are you a humorous person who likes to make others laugh?
  • Do you feel faithful important in a relationship?
  • Is it important to you that your partner feels accepted and loved by you?
  • Are you confident and comfortable making your own decisions?< /li>
  • Do you have different interests and like to share them with your partner?
  • Do you have both feet on the ground without putting your job first?
  • Are you tender and happy to care for your partner from time to time?


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