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“How can I save my marriage on my own?” Jenn asked when we spoke a few months ago. “How do you know if your marriage is worth saving?” she added tearfully. The truth is that marriage is tough and certain stages of marriage are tougher than others, but there is hope. There are at least 14 qualities of a godly wife (who is really just a godly wife) that will save your marriage even if you struggle alone. Today we’re going to discuss them and come up with an action plan to incorporate them into your daily life. Are you ready?

14 traits of a godly wife that will save your marriage

First, let’s answer a question. What is a godly wife? Maybe you searched for “christian wife” and found this, don’t worry 😉 To be a godly wife you have to be a christian wife but frankly not all christian wives are godly wives. Often Christian is a title we pull out of convenience rather than a change of heart toward true discipleship.

So, a godly wife is a Christian wife who has made a decision to lead the marriage God’s way, well, really to lead life God’s way. A godly woman is a godly woman committed to a life of following Jesus, which results in a godly marriage.

#1 Sign of a godly woman is reading the Bible

Have you ever wondered how to be a godly woman in our busy culture? You are not alone in this! I can’t tell you how many times I struggle with living up to the expectations of a virtuous woman, let alone a virtuous wife or, God forbid, a Proverbs 31 woman or Proverbs 31 wife! Yuck!

Take a deep breath. A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank God God never demands perfection from us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek him with all their hearts.

“You will seek me and you will find me if you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

A godly woman is not a perfect woman. Thank God God never demands perfection from us. Instead of looking for a perfect woman, God requires women who seek him with all their hearts. Click To Tweet

How do you seek God with all your heart to become a godly woman and godly wife?

Read the Bible. Really work through the Scriptures until God speaks to you. Don’t settle for a “verse of the day” from the Bible Verses for Women section in the U Version, but really spend time with God in His Word until it begins to change you from within. Check out these 10 easy ways to make time in your Bible to find help.


#2 The hallmark of a godly woman is her perseverance in prayer

A godly woman not only reads her Bible, she prays. She prays until something happens, and then she prays some more just to praise God for moving. Prayer is one of the most powerful tools you have, dear Christian wife, to save your marriage.

God is powerful. Prayer makes that power available to you. There is even more power when you incorporate Scripture into your prayer strategy (perhaps this Proverbs 31 prayer will help you to get started). When you add a period of fasting to prayer, you have a life-changing powerhouse!

“Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can do much.” James 5:16

When you read your Bible, God convicts you of sin. Confessing sin is one of the many disciplines of a godly woman. Keep your faith and try to live righteously so that God hears and answers your prayers.

God is powerful. Prayer makes that power available to you. There’s even more power when you incorporate Scripture into your prayer strategy (perhaps use this Proverbs 31 prayer to get you started). If you add a fast to the prayer then… Click To Tweet

#3 The mark of a godly wife is her love

Biblical love in marriage is very different from what we see on TV. God teaches us a way of loving that is a choice made every day as a godly wife that changes the whole direction of our marriage. We see a glimpse of it in this summary or word study of 1 Corinthians 13.

“Love is patient, love is kind and not jealous; love does not boast and is not proud, does not act improperly; she does not seek her own, does not allow herself to be provoked, shows no regard for injustice suffered, does not rejoice in injustice, but rejoices in the truth; endures all, believes all, hopes all, endures all. Love never fails…” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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#4 Characteristic of a godly woman is forgiveness

Forgiveness is a cornerstone of the Christian faith. As disciples of Christ, we are told to forgive others whether they apologize or not (whether they deserve it or not).

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

If we were to define virtue as behavior with a high moral standard, forgiveness would be at the heart of a virtuous woman. A virtuous woman behaves no less morally. She forgives because God told her to forgive, and leaves vengeance to God. This is a high moral standard that we can only attain with the help of the Holy Spirit. I know, I know, sometimes things have gotten so bad that it seems impossible. Perhaps seeing these 3 steps to navigate a difficult relationship will help you.

I would like to share a free e-book with you. In A Path to Forgiveness, I share the 6 steps that have helped me forgive some of the toughest things in my past. Today I live in freedom and so can you!

#5 Characteristic of a Proverbs 31 woman is unselfishness

Selfishness is knowing what my desires are in life and not letting my preferences get in the way of achieving those desires.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers; only do not make your liberty an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another in love.” Galatians 5:13

What are your goals in marriage?

I want my husband to stand up and lead our home with wisdom and trust. My goal in marriage (my prayer for my marriage) is a husband who leads. On the other hand, I prefer to be in control and arrange things to get things done my way. Indulging my passion has the potential to destroy all the hard work God has done in raising my husband to be a leader.

Something I find remarkable about the qualities of a Proverbs 31 woman is that she leads and submits. * Understanding leadership and submission from God’s perspective will help you be a selfless wife—a Proverbs 31 wife.

Understanding leadership and submission from God’s perspective will help you be a selfless wife—a Proverbs 31 woman. Click To Tweet

#6 Characteristics of a godly wife is godly thinking

The truth is that what we think about is what we talk about. As you begin to take control of your thoughts, you begin to improve communication as a godly wife!

What is godly thinking? It’s more than just positive thinking, it’s thinking about things in a way that honors God, just as Paul describes in Philippians 4:8-9.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything of praise worthy dwells in these things.” Philippians 4:8

Need help learning to think like Philippians 4:8, check out this word study to get started.

#7 The hallmark of a godly wife is the use of words of affirmation, appreciation, and admiration

Many times Christian wives feel that they are alone in fighting for their marriage when lines of communication are broken.

If this sounds like you, godly wife, I would suggest a 30-day Words of Validation Challenge to help you reduce marital strife. For 30 days, you commit to not saying negative words. No nagging, suggesting, hinting, correcting, clarifying, coaxing, giving your perspective, helping him see things right – zero negative words. Instead, speak 2 to 3 words of appreciation and admiration to him each day and watch the lines of communication begin to open!

“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only good for building up after the time of trouble, that there may be grace on those who hear it.” Ephesians 4:29

Here are 30 words of affirmation and a more detailed guide on how to say words of affirmation to your man.

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#8 Characteristic of a biblical wife is leadership

God says that the husband is to be in charge of the home, but that does not mean that the wife is less than, unimportant, or inferior. A godly wife can be a godly leader!

Yes, you read that right. A biblical wife is a leader. It takes a lot more leadership to step down and let your husband run the house than many people realize. Running the house doesn’t make your husband the boss in charge of everything, nor does it make you a doormat through which he can walk everywhere. A strong woman can lead from her strengths and allow her man to lead from his strengths. Both can lead in harmony and support each other. The key is to support each other instead of attacking each other.

“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

Just as Jesus was a leader while God was the head, so a woman can lead while the man is the head.

#9 characteristics of a virtuous woman is to understand men

Now if you’re laughing out loud, join the club, but know that understanding men isn’t impossible. Men and women understand life completely differently. When you, as a godly woman, take the time to learn how men understand things, you are taking a giant step toward saving your marriage!

“For you formed my heart; you knit me in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13

When you, as a godly wife, take the time to learn how men understand things, you are taking a giant step toward saving your marriage! This is a mark of a godly wife! Click To Tweet

#10 Characteristic of a Christian wife is respect

Godly wife, respect your husband. This is a command that God gives to wives without a loophole. The Bible does not say, “Respect your husband if he is respectable” or “Respect your husband if he is worthy of your respect.”

“Nevertheless each of you should love his wife as himself, and the wife should be careful to respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

Christian wife, respect your husband. Point. If you read the whole book of Ephesians, you’ll see that we’re supposed to respect everyone, but when it comes to women and men, the problem comes down to men’s understanding. Men understand respect differently. The key is to understand what your husband sees as respectful and disrespectful and work from there.

#11 The hallmark of a godly woman is biblical priorities

Setting biblical priorities for a busy life requires intention. We must fight against the culture tide to keep our priorities straight. Can you understand that?

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'” Matthew 22:36-38

As much as I want to love God first, prioritize my marriage second, and then raise godly children, it all gets mixed up. You need a reset button every few months to check in with God and set your priorities straight. No guilt allowed godly woman. Just check in with God and fix what’s out of line 😉

#12 Characteristics of a virtuous woman is community

The world around us does marriage in a way that focuses on emotional love and unrealistic expectations. God’s way of conducting marriage is countercultural. If you want to live out these qualities of a godly woman and save your marriage, you need to surround yourself with a like-minded community of women!

“Iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens man.” Proverbs 27:17

I would like to personally invite you to our private Facebook group – Christian Women Choosing Hope and Joy in Each Season

#13 Characteristic of a biblical wife is perseverance or patience

A biblical wife is characterized by perseverance. Will you stand by and fight for your marriage no matter what? In good times and bad, in riches and in poverty, in sickness and in health ’till death do us part?

“Let us not tire of doing good; for we shall reap in season, unless we grow weary.” Galatians 6:9

There are times when marriage is tough, and in those tough times you need perseverance, dear godly wife!

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#14 The mark of a godly wife is hope and joy

Take heart, not all times of marriage are hard. As you continue to seek God, pray, and develop godly character, you can know what hope and joy are.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

He is a God of hope and He is yours, holding you, fighting for you and working everything for your good. Hold onto that hope.

He is indeed a God of joy, the joy of the Lord lives in your heart. You can choose to have joy no matter how hard the season because you are God’s child.

Choose hope and joy in Christ, sweet Christian wife, and you will save your marriage.

Developing these 14 characteristics of a godly wife will grow your faith and your marriage

In closing, I want to be clear that none of these 14 characteristics of a godly wife will ensure a perfect marriage. They are both imperfect human beings. Whenever two sinners live under one roof, there are bound to be disagreements, clashes, and bruised egos. No, this is not a magic formula for a problem-free marriage.

What will happen as you develop these divine traits is that you will grow in faith. You will know God better than ever and this will bring inner peace that will solve so many problems in your life. As your man observes your newfound peace of mind, sees the hope in your eyes, and feels the joy in your soul, he will begin to be drawn to you and to God in a new way. New life will come into your marriage.

These are the things that God used to save my marriage many years ago and I have seen them work wonders in many wives through mentoring since then.

God has good things in store for you and a plan for your marriage. Trust Him today. Press into Him today as you fight for your marriage.


Tiffany of Hope Joy in Christ inspires Christian women to grow in faith, live Bible principles of marriage, and raise godly children. Join the Wives Only Facebook group here or follow them on Pinterest.

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